"I Love you. Always. And No Matter What."

Some of the most powerful things we teach our kids don’t come through discipline or correction — they come through love, spoken out loud.

From My Home to Yours: I Love You. Always, and No Matter What.

Positive reinforcement isn’t just for kids with ADHD — it’s for everyone. It’s human to want to feel seen, appreciated, and encouraged. One spring afternoon, when my son was still a baby, I was outside working on the yard. My daughter, newly four at the time, picked up a little rake and worked beside me for hours.

At one point, I looked over and told her how proud I was, how helpful she was, and how important her work was. After I commended her efforts I noticed that her precious little self was processing what I had said because she paused for a moment while still holding onto her rake. She then looked up at me with her bright blue eyes, smiled ear to ear, and said, “Daddy… I really like when you say words like that to me.” Then she happily went back to raking.

That moment stuck with me. Not because it was big, but because it was true. She felt something shift inside her from those words — something that mattered.

And my son — full of energy, big emotions, and a boundless heart — has always been eager to help too. Even when it’s the wrong moment or the wrong time, his heart is usually in the right place. I knew, from my years of teaching, how powerful positive reinforcement could be. So I made it a habit to spotlight the good moments: helping without being asked, showing kindness to his sister, or sticking with something hard.

But there were also moments when things didn’t go well — when he melted down or acted out, and emotions ran high. After those moments, I always made sure to reconnect in the quiet — just him and me. I’d pull him in for a warm embrace, and in that closeness, he could feel that everything was okay. I’d say, with calm and certainty: “I love you. Always, and no matter what.”

That phrase became an anchor.

And now, he says it to me.

Sometimes, when he sees I’m frustrated or overwhelmed, he’ll gently put his hands on my face, look into my eyes, and say, “Daddy… I love you. Always. And no matter what.”

He uses the very words I gave him to remind me that we’re still okay. That love doesn’t have conditions.

🔍 What I Learned

Kind words don’t just shape behavior — they shape connection. Positive reinforcement builds trust, even in tough moments, and gives our kids the language of compassion — for us, and for themselves.

💡 Why This Stuck With Me

When our kids feel safe and seen, they reflect that safety right back. And sometimes, the words we speak in love become the very comfort we need to hear.