Hearing Isn't the Same as Understanding

Sometimes communication struggles aren’t about hearing the words — they’re about how the brain processes and responds to them.

From My Home to Yours: Hearing Isn't the Same as Understanding

From the time my son was very young — even before he had a diagnosis — we noticed something different about how he responded to us. He often didn’t make eye contact or would struggle to follow even simple directions. Honestly, it was frustrating. Well-meaning family and friends would say things like, “Oh, he’s just a boy — it’s normal.” And sometimes, we were hard on ourselves, wondering if we were unfairly comparing him to his sister, who had blossomed socially and intellectually very early.

Still, deep down, we knew something more was going on. Vincent would sometimes have delayed responses to directions — but it wasn’t just about following instructions. His attention during conversations felt sporadic, too. Sometimes he would seem tuned in and responsive, and other times it was as if our words floated past him. We found ourselves constantly repeating simple requests, clarifying questions, or wondering whether he had even heard us the first time.

We even took him to an audiologist to rule out hearing loss. His hearing was perfectly fine. Eventually, a pediatric neurologist evaluated him and introduced us to something we hadn’t considered before: receptive language challenges. He explained that for children with ADHD, difficulties with executive functioning — like attention, memory, and processing speed — can make it harder for their brains to organize and act on spoken information in the moment.

It wasn’t defiance. It wasn’t disrespect. It was simply how his brain worked.

We’ve learned to use proactive language — giving short, simple directions focused on what he can do next — and visual cues (visual schedule, timer, etc.) when he needs extra support. Each new day brings its own set of unique challenges, but it’s helped us communicate in ways that often feel clearer, calmer, and more hopeful — even when the moments are still hard.

🔍 What I Learned

Understanding that my son's brain needed different kinds of support helped take some of the pressure off of both of us. Slowing down, saying less, and using simple visuals didn’t fix everything — but it made the tough moments easier to navigate.

💡Why This Stuck With Me

Because it’s not a one-time fix — it’s a choice we have to make every day. Some conversations still take more patience than I have, but learning to meet Vincent where he is has helped us stay connected, even when things don’t go perfectly.